There can only be one pussy in my house

It finally hit me. My cat, Lucy, doesn't like other women besides me. Single, married, divorced, young, old. It doesn't matter.

She only likes men.

That means there can only be one pussy in my house. Well, I guess two including me.

Lucy stretched out on the floor right in  front of my 6'8" male visitor and let him pet her. She pranced around in front of another and talked up a storm while he stroked her. And she draped herself across another's stomach while he slept in my bed. He was sleeping it off and probably didn't even notice though. (You can read If he doesn't remember, did it happen? to learn about that unforgettable evening.)

But girls are a different story. When my best friend arrived the other day, Lucy met us at the door but shot upstairs after about 30 seconds of nervous kitty chatter. What a little bitch. She stayed under the bed the entire two days my friend was here except for creeping out to visit the kitty box while we were out - exacly why my friend calls her Lucy-fur.

This is the same cat that my divorce-day sleepover guest said would cause problems with men (When one door opens, another closes for the scoop on that forgettable night). Come to think of it, I don't think Lucy liked him. Smart pussy; I didn't either.

I hope Lucy keeps being a picky pussy and points out all of the bad ones. My girlfriends will tell you I definitely can't pick 'emon my own! God knows, we all need some help from a pussy sometimes.

Love to the single girls,
Addison