Be selfish sometimes. You deserve it.

Last week, a waiter and friend from my neighborhood's sushi restaurant bought me a cocktail. He had stopped off to treat himself to a drink at the pub after a long day at work. We had a really good conversation, and he said something very wise.

People have to love themselves first.

We pointed out several people in the pub who don't appear to have that love. We talked about how it affects them - their ability to be a friend, a lover, a responsible adult.

His wisdom made a lasting impression. I'm a pretty together person and always think I love myself. That is until something happens like letting my friend hit a weak spot and giving in when he wanted to stay with me last night. Not so smart. Things like this make me realize there's a way to go.

Like me, many people - mostly us girls - have been in relationships where their partner beat them down emotionally. It's been a struggle to love myself again after so much. So long.

Part of the struggle is in the mind, and since I'm not a shrink, I won't even attempt to write any psycho-babble about that. Another huge issue that doesn't take a wall of degrees to know is realizing it's okay to be selfish sometimes. We don't always have to do for others. As a treat to myself I had a massage yesterday to wrap up a draining work week. It's my third this summer, and I'm hooked. I lose myself in it for that hour-plus. My phone stays in the locker and time doesn't matter. It reminds me I'm worth it.

It's important to make time to be selfish. It may be a mani/pedi or buying a hot new outfit or adding a day to your next business trip just to relax. It could also be quiet time at home - making your favorite comfort food (mac & cheese or green bean casserole come to mind) or curling up in your nightie to watch a good movie or sleeping in until noon. You deserve it.

Time is valuable, but you are priceless.

Love to the single girls,
Addison