Porn, sushi and tampons

My friend called after lunch yesterday in hysterics over what happened at one of her favorite hole-in-the-wall lunch spots. With a restaurant full of people enjoying their sushi, the TV on the wall played Mexican porn. Patrons didn't seem to know what to say or do. The owner, an elderly gentleman, clearly had enough hearing loss to miss the moans coming from the girl bouncing on the man on the screen.

Luckily my friend was dining alone, but she could hardly stop laughing. I admit, lunch would have been awkward, especially if she'd been on a business lunch.

Her experience made me think for the first time as a single girl about how I feel about porn, and here are my initial thoughts. I've never had a problem with porn in moderation, unless it severely clouds judgment or gets in the way in a relationship.

Porn provided my first instruction on sex. One of my first boyfriends and I used to rent porn vids just to learn what to do. That was back when they were a bit more tame.

But who wants a porn star in their bedroom while they're making love - especially with some of the way out there sex fantasies you find in movies now? I want any moaning to be live. My ex used to want to watch blow job DVDs while we had sex. I hated it, and he knew it. He always made me feel like I gave a blow job like a 12-year-old. Oddly everyone since says I give amazing head. Either my ex is dead wrong or the others are just being nice (not likely the case based on the reactions).

I guess it depends on expectations. But it mostly depends on how much you care for and respect your partner. But if I wanted the latest Jenna Jameson wanna-be in my bedroom, I'd invite her myself.

A few yeas ago, my ex asked me something that really weirded me out.

"How far do you have to stick your fist up your pussy to take out a tampon?" he asked.

"None, dumbass," I answered. The man has been on this planet for decades and all it took was a bizarre porn video.

I still haven't quite recovered from either of these scenarios. So, as a single girl now, I'd like to go out with men who don't have much time for porn. The ones who'd rather experience it live. The ones who want me to be the star.

Love to the single girls,
Addison