A great book . . . for other single girls

Last summer a smart single woman recommended a book called "Why You're Not Married ... Yet" by Tracy McMillan. The book was new at the time, and I finally ordered it when Random House published the paperback a couple of weeks ago.

Now, two chapters in. I admit the book's great, but not for me.

I sat on my flight home last night and realized how polar opposite my relationship situations are from Tracy's tips. There's a huge group of single girls with these traits. Many others, like me, are totally different.

Chapter one helps some women recognize that they're bitches. Because they can be. They find it hard to be nice to a man. They're defensive and difficult to get close to.

The solution? "You're going to have to be nice." And it starts by understanding what nice means. Tracy uses words like nurturing and forgiveness. Yes, all good things if you're a bitch.

If you've read any of this blog, you'll know I'm not this girl. I'm too nice. I could teach the class on being nice in a relationship. Men take advantage of that. I'm not alone. Lots of single girls are too nice.

I have to practice being a bitch, and it's not easy. Finding my inner bitch takes me way away from my comfort zone, and my inner bitch has indeed failed. Many times. Some of you have read about it in this blog.

The second chapter tells women they're shallow. They look for certain careers and bank accounts rather than how the guy makes them feel when they're alone together. She says these women want to know their guy meets the resume criteria they've set and can buy them a nice car.

I always buy my own cars, thank you.

My problem is how many guys know how to make you feel good when you're alone together. It's the other stuff they suck at like sticking in for the long haul and having ambition to succeed in life and treating you with the love and respect you deserve all the time - not just when you're alone.

I've written about these too. Many of them. There's monkey do, dump monkey, the wet paper towel test and the guy I wanted to divorce after only being pretend married for three weeks. And one of the most popular posts, if he doesn't remember, did it happen. These and others show how I can't seem to be picky enough. I'm more forgiving than I should be and too often overlook the deal breakers.

There are way too many bitches and shallow women out there, so kudos to Tracy for writing this book. The need for it is ginormous. I can't begin to describe the lust for plastic I've seen - platinum cards, sports cars, big numbers behind their names and fancy titles. So buy Tracy's book.

You other single girls - the ones like me - it's okay to not fit into Tracy's book. Don't lose the ability to be a bitch you've worked toward. Be picky. You deserve the guy you want. Someone who has at least the drive and ambition you have - if not more - so you can succeed together.

Love to the single girls,
Addison

P.S. I'll write more as I have have time to read, and let me know what you think of Tracy's book.