Breakup sex

I told my friend something the other day that I've never told anyone. Come to think of it, no one's ever asked before. She asked if my ex and I stopped having sex when our marriage started falling apart. Truth is, if that had been the case, I'm not sure we would have ever consummated the marriage. But that's another blog (or 50). The answer is yes. It was teh only way to keep the peace, especially in the last couple of years, until I figured out how to leave.

We had sex my last night there. I didn't want to. After everything he had done. It repulsed me. He repulsed me. But I was too exhausted to care. As much as I've tried to forget it happened, I can't. It actually helped to say it. Now writing about it will help me move on.

I had been packing and working and working and packing. Trying to get everything done without my family or my clients knowing anything was up. My friends were too weirded out to come to my house, so I didn't bother asking. He barely helped. I had a goal so I just got it done, but wore myself out.

I told him no. I was too tired to move. He said it didn't matter. And I didn't move. But I did hurt, and it still does.

That night summed up the marriage. It was all about him. He knew it would be a while before another woman would be in that bed so he wanted one last one to hold him over. He didn't care how I felt. What I wanted. I don't think he even gave a crap it was me. Even now I can't think of a situation when breakup sex is a good idea. If there is, please share.

The next morning, the movers came and I was gone. Starting my new, happy life as a single girl.

Love to the single girls,
Addison