One year ago it was official

One year ago this morning, I stood in front of a judge in family court, my attorney by my side. I looked up at the judge on his high bench, answered his questions, and he ended a 13-year relationship. Then wished me luck. The courtroom was full of people ending their marriages. Some talked to the judge alone. Others were there with someone to translate since they didn't speak English. The vast majority of plaintiffs were women, and each, I'm sure, had a story.

While my attorney and I waited for the official copies of the decree, I stepped around the corner and cried. Even though the marriage was empty, abusive and so totally over, it was still a loss. I'm glad my ex wasn't there.

While driving home, I felt overwhelmingly free. Happy. I'll never forget the day. The feelings. It was Friday and there were friends waiting in my neighborhood to celebrate with me. I had a yummy lemon drop martini to start the festivities. Before lunch. And I rarely drink hard liqueur. We had lunch and hung out and drank some more and ate dinner and the restaurant owner where we had dinner molested me. Yes, he put his hand down my halter top and got a handful of my tit. We got a free bottle of champagne to help make up for his bad behavior, but it's still creepy. Then I had one of the worst sexual experiences ever. Worse than forgettable.

But it was all worthwhile to start my new life. The next day I drove to my hometown and went to my high school reunion. Alone. I was disappointed my good girl friend didn't go, but loved it anyway. I didn't have to babysit anyone. After driving back home the next day, I went out to dinner with a new guy.

This anniversary weekend, I hope, will be less eventful. I plan to visit my good friend at the bar where she works. I'll go by myself - not to be selfish - but I don't want to play therapist or take care of anyone. I'll listen to the band and perhaps chat with a few people. I'll go home alone and sleep alone. Tonight I need to take care of me.

Love to the single girls,

Addison