I wish he gave a shit

Every once in a while I get in these melancholy moods. I guess now is one of those times.

I was thinking back on the relationship I've had with someone I've thought of as a friend, lover and sometime savior for the last 3.5 years. The only other guys I've had relationships with for this long ended up proposing to me.

But I'm not sure he gives a shit about me - or anyone for that matter.

It's kind of like socking money into a risky investment except this one took emotional capital too. While the investment has had its ups and downs, overall, it's just been flat. Bleh.

I'll be the first to admit he'll never be the one. He's not the type. But I did expect our trust in each other to grow over time. We've both been through really rough situations over the last few years. For a while he was there for me, but when it really got tough, he wasn't. And now, during his down moments, he doesn't seem to need anyone.

When we're together, it's like we are the only ones on the planet. We talk and share our dreams and fulfill every physical need. When we're not, it's like strangers. Truthfully I don't understand. I'm such don't-give-up-yet personality type that I can't. Not until I understand.

I'm getting closer to cashing out this investment. If hasn't grown in some way over 3.5 years, it never will.

Love to the single girls,
Addison