Friends

Today while I was jogging in the park I watched a hawk swoop down and pounce on a little bird that was resting alone on the ground. It was minding its own business under a tree. I ran up to the hawk hoping I'd scare it away. It just carried its prey few yards away. I tried again with the same result. The whole food chain thing makes total sense to me, but I really wanted the bird to have another chance.

Seeing the hawk attack the bird when it was alone made me think about how it sometimes feels to be single. When you have a significant other, you know they're by your side. But those of us who don't have one count on our friends to be there when we need them. They make us feel less alone. Less vulnerable.

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be a friend. True friends accept you for who you are but also want better for you. They listen and observe and see things you may not. They know when to speak and when to shut up. They know when to be by your side and when to leave you in peace. And it works both ways - true friends treat each other this way.

There are a handful of true friends in my life. Two are visiting now for a girls' weekend. The intent was to write for the weekend. We've had a massage, done lots of eating and a little drinking - oh, and a little writing too. Two others are friends I've had for many years and another is a new friend I've only known since last year but feel as if I've known for many more. Last is my friend and lover who will be here for a visit next week. These are the people who listened before, during and after my divorce. They encouraged but didn't judge. They laughed but not at me and they even cried with me at times. They are the ones who helped me get where I am now and try to keep me headed in the right direction - away from trouble. Again.

A friend has a husband who seems to relive his college days with one of his buddies. He ended up drunk and stranded a few weeks ago near the strip club they had visited . He lost his keys, phone, credit card, warch, one shoe and clearly his mind. A hotel security guard had to call his wife to come and pick him up. When she got there, he had this wild story about being chased and someone trying to extort money from him. The next day, he didn't remember a thing. You can imagine how my friend reacted. True friends don't get you into trouble.

Speaking of trouble, there are a number of girls and guys I've met since I've been single. After knowing them a very short time, I just see that they're trouble. They're likely candidates to lead me or anyone else who enters their lives into situation similar to the story about my friend's husband. It's a good thing he's not single or he might have not gotten out of trouble so easily.

We all need to be strong and stand on our own. I have to remind myself of this often. But we also have to call on our friends from time to time. Or sometimes, like the little bird with the hawk, your friends come to your rescue before you know you're in trouble. They save you from the hawks we all know are out there.

Love to the single girls,
Addison