I have to be home with my goats

A couple of weeks ago, a friend had a cocktail party at her house for a bunch of girls who used to work at the same company. A bit of a conversation between my friend and a woman I had never met before grabbed my attention from across the living room.

"I have to be home with my goats," is what she said to the person interviewing her. Then she went on to tell more about the job interview. I had to interrupt.

"Wow. I've never heard anyone say those words before."

She laughed. The job required her to be away from home, and her goats, more than she wanted. She didn't take it.

Besides making me laugh my ass off at the moment, what she said really stuck with me.

Too many single girls (and boys too) don't like to be alone. And way too many settle for a boyfriend just to have someone to come home to. 

Just in the last couple of weeks, I found one friend almost in tears in the pub. Her boyfriend left her alone on a Saturday night. He made his own plans that didn't include her. But he forgot to fill her in. That behavior is a deal breaker. But a couple of days later they were back together like nothing happened. They don't live together, but it's one of those almost 24/7 relationships. She's in the middle of a divorce and is right back into a bad relationship.

Another friend is in one of those 24/7 relationships. Well, 24/7 except for the weeks her boyfriend decides to disappear. Yep, he leaves her alone. Completely. They've broken up three times already because of his bad behavior in the few months they've been dating. And these are the only times her friends see her. She blows us off to hang out with him the rest of the time. Her friend is planning a birthday party for her, but at least two girls have declined already. They think she'll hang out with him instead of showing up for her own party.

These guys are douche bags, but the girls take them back. It's easy to see from the outside, but it's hard for some of us to recognize when it's right in our faces. We have a habit of rationalizing the bad behavior just to have a guy around. But girls don't realize these douche bags bring us down to their level.

Being alone is better. I'm living proof.

We have to be comfortable alone before a relationship can be successful. We have to love ourselves. Eat in a restaurant alone. Take a break during the day for a movie - the one YOU want to see. Stay home one Saturday night and sip a glass of wine while painting your nails and catching up on Jersey Shore or So You Think You Can Dance or whatever guilty pleasure makes you happy.

There are much worse things than being alone.

Kelly Clarkson sings it in her song Stronger, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller, doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone."

And if you want to come home to a warm body, get a pet. A cat, a dog, a ferret, a guinea pig or even a goat brings loads more pleasure than a douche bag. I have Lucy. And, if you take care of friendships, good friends are always a call or text away. I couldn't make it without them.

Love to the single girls,
Addison