Drowning in bullshit

Last night I needed a little more of an evening out. A little time with my neighborhood friends to unwind after a crazy week. And a few minutes with my real friend after coming back from my dinner commitment.

But from the moment I walked into the pub, I was immersed in bullshit. I mean, the real stuff. Dished out by people who aren't complete strangers.

I probably should have just gone home right after my first conversation, but my friend wasn't there yet.

"He's confused. He thinks I'm his mom," I said.

"No, a MILF," he said.

It must have been my expression that prompted him to clarify. "I meant it as a compliment."

Really? Bullshit. I'm not an M, and he'd better get used to the IL part of the acronym, because he'll never F me.

One girl told me about her quest to get her slightly younger male friend laid. He said he wasn't interested in putting out any effort. In fact he said he was only interested if it fell in his lap. Bullshit. She's got her work cut out for her. With his attitude and for the girl who falls in his lap's sake, I hope it doesn't happen.

Then another guy told me about fracturing his finger stick fighting. He talked on and on about how clever he was by figuring out how to keep working out while his finger healed by using exercise bands. I listened. The entire time sweat marks developed down the middle of the front and back of the shirt he bulged out of. By the way, it was his pinky finger. Of course.

Then a guy I went out with once about four months ago sat down next to me, grabbed my hand, started stroking my leg and said, "You're so pretty." Really? I didn't go out with him a second time because he put me in a headlock in the pub one night. Even if he was drunk and just playing around, headlocks are always bullshit.

And there was more, but if I keep going you'll all think I'm making it up. So I'll stop. It's all true. Every bit. I am thankful for the people who were - and always are - interesting, friendly and bullshit-less.

I hope you're having a bullshit-free weekend.

Love to the single girls,
Addison