Time to grow a pair

For me, this blog serves a few purposes. It's a place where I can share strange and sometimes wonderful things that happen in my single girl world. It's also where I vent about things I can't get off my mind. I guess I hope someone out there will toss me back an answer or a solution to solve the problem. It hasn't happened yet, but I can only hope.

This post is one of those things I can't shake out of my head. It's about a couple that hangs out in my neighborhood. I don't know exactly why  they got together a year or so ago, but I know why they split up last weekend. It's not his or her fault.

They just don't work.

I also know he has no balls.

We've all known people who have broken off a relationship with a text or voice mail message or Post It. All of these are awful. This one's worse. He didn't completely break it off at all. He didn't end it in a way she understood.

But he's told me and others over the last week how she's going to need her friends now. "I don't know how to just be a friend to her," he said. He can say those things to me and other people, but not to his girlfriend of over a year.

A little over a week ago, they had a lengthy conversation about something that had just happened between them. She walked away from the conversation thinking he was considering what to do about their relationship.

What makes this situation even more tragic is what happened about thirty minutes after that breakup conversation ended. She came to my place for a glass of wine and to talk. After a long, teary hug, she started to tell me what he said, and then her parents' number popped up on her phone. It was about 1:30 a.m. in their time zone halfway across the country. It was her sister. Her dad wasn't breathing and the EMTs were on their way. She was hysterical. While she and her sister traded desperate cries, I texted the boyfriend to get over here. Now.

"I feel like such a jerk," he said when he arrived. I told him it didn't matter. Now it just infuriates me that all he could think about was how he felt. Who cares that he felt like a jerk? He is a jerk. By now, he should be used to it.

"My dad's going to make it!" she said into my shoulder while we waited for the next call. "He has to."

I couldn't imagine what she was going through in that twenty minutes that wouldn't end. It did end, and he didn't make it. Watching her grief broke my heart. Over the next couple of hours, I worked with her boyfriend to get her on a plane with a packed bag. She could only think enough to take a shower, but she made it there thinking she had another conversation with her boyfriend when she got back home.

About a week into her trip home, it made it back to her that their relationship was over. Since he didn't have the balls to tell her, someone else did, or she figured it out herself.

If someone doesn't have the balls to end a relationship, they don't have the balls to to start one. We have to check for balls before even considering a relationship of any kind. Not everyone has them.

Love to the single girls,
Addison