Neon white underneath

Okay, I know this is totally vain and frivolous, but what's a girl to do with the blinding white ass and tits we have in the summertime after getting a bit of a tan?

Have you ever seen this vintage Coppertone ad? Single girls worry about these things because we have to think about making good first and second and third impressions. One guy already told me recently how fashionable I would be - in the 1970s. And he wasn't talking about clothes because I wasn't wearing any.

I don't want to mess with the all-over tanning bed thing, and it's more dangerous than sunscreen under natural sunlight. And those parts are super sensitive, so it wouldn't take much to burn to a crisp. Ouch! Those awkward white body parts are what we get.

For some reason I've never been very concerned about white body parts until this until this summer. Since I'm pretty fair, a tan hides the tiniest of flaws. I thought about the at-home spray- or wipe-on tan but it will require major coloring within the lines, a little tough on the back side. Plus it wears off.  Can the guys just wear shades to even out the color with the lack of color?

I know I'll have to solve this before my next trip later this month, but I'm not sure how to solve it. If this is my biggest problem, I guess I'm doing well.

Love to the single girls,
Addison