It takes more than love

On Valentine's night last night, a guy asked his girlfriend to marry him. He made arrangements with the restaurant staff beforehand, so my friend who works there told us about it.

When my friend who kept me company for Valentine's headed home to her husband, the groom-to-be planted himself on her bar stool next to me and ordered a Crown straight up to add to his beer. He leaned over and said, "I'm about to ask my fiance to marry me."

"Wow, that's nice," I said. "What's she going to say?"

"We've talked about it already," he answered and sipped on the whisky.

"Why don't you save the Crown for after?"

"I'm celebrating," he answered. "It's my first drink."

I look at the beer and his childish eyes. "Where is she?"

"She's in the car having a drink since she's underage."

I smiled. "Good luck to you."

Not long after, I looked behind me and saw him kneel to one knee and present the ring to her. She put it on and they embraced. He's so young - only 21 - and his fiance is only 19. She wasn't even allowed to sit at the bar with him. They looked happy. In love. But they looked like a couple at their high school prom.

I know it's just an engagement and not a marriage, but I hope they wait since it takes so much more than love to make a marriage work. I know. I'm not so good at it.

Love is the foundation, but it also takes respect - like the frame of a house - to hold a marriage up. It's respect for yourself, your partner and others in your lives. Trust protects you from outside elements like the walls of a home. Patience, forgiveness and a ginormous sense of humor act as the roof to keep you from drowning in all of the unexpected things that hit during a marriage. Without all of these, you find your marriage lying flat on a cold hard concrete slab.

My friend and Valentine's date knows what I mean. She's leaning on all of these elements to forgive her husband from doing something incredibly stupid a couple of weeks ago. Until then, he's in the dog house and the dog is cozy and warm indoors.

Many couples coast through a relationship drunk or high, and I hope that's not where this couple is headed. It's just to hard to make things work when one or both aren't there 100%.

I thought I had found my life partner before and I hope to again. It's a decision and a journey both people have to take very seriously. When you both do, it's a beautiful thing. Cheers to the happy couple. I hope the best for them.

Love to the single girls,
Addison