Taking control of my path

Would you ever let someone push you blindfolded down a path? Whether you know them well or not? It sounds crazy but I do it all the time. First it was my mom. Then guys I dated. Sometimes it was friends and even professional colleagues.

It's all about control. And I'm taking it back.

Why should I let them decide where I go? If I'm going to succeed - or crash and burn - I want it to be me who led myself there and not someone else. I'm finally learning how much trust has to already be there before letting someone lead you.

There are two paths people tried to lead me down recently, and both are related to my writing.

In one situation, the guy in charge of the writing trade organization I belong to went MIA back in March. I'm second in charge but have covered his ass since late 2012 and am tired. Tired of doing his work. Tired of his lack of balls to step down. When he filled my cute little loft apartment with the organizations crap and packed up and left the state in March, I gave him until May to figure it out. Either he steps waaayyy up or down or I haul ass outta my role. It's May now. I emailed him today to see what he decided to do. He has until early next week, but I suspect he won't respond. If that happens, I just bypass him. I will not let him leave me in limbo even longer while he contemplates where he might have left his balls.

In the other, a woman joined my writing critique group. We've had three sessions so far. In the first, she reamed our other group member's writing, she cancelled the second and last night she reamed my writing. It wasn't even constructive - or accurate for that matter. She broke most of the basic writing rules as well as critique rules in her critique and in her writing. Instead of being the fix-it girl I typically try to be, I talked to my other group member. She was where I am after the first session, so we agreed it's not working with her. We're done and we let her know it - with diplomacy, of course.

Now, I hope if I'm headed down a path looking remotely near the one this guy I saw in the airport the other day might be headed down that my friends might intervene. I need to be tackled and dragged off of that path. Fast.

I've already taken control of one path in 2013. The guy I was seeing fell into a habit of texting or calling me at the last minute or in the wee morning hours. I told him that wasn't acceptable. He never got it and he never will. But at least what I said stopped him from doing it again. 

Sometimes I have to practice my inner bitch to break away from those people who insist on leading me down paths. I know, most people say there's no inner bitch needed here - it's just being human. But this is hard for me.

Every step helps. And for us single girls, we only have ourselves to count on.

Love to the single girls,
Addison