Single girls don't need heroes

I promised myself I would stay home tonight. Have a relaxing dinner, watch TV, do a little work and get enough sleep for a change. But I didn't.

The phone interrupted just as I was starting to cook. My friend was walking around the neighborhood. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Starting dinner," I answered. "How about you?"

"Kind of wanting to have a drink and grab a bite."

I laughed. "I'm just starting dinner. Join me. I have plenty. But before you answer, it's not gourmet. I'm cooking equivalent of Shake & Bake for fish and a salad," I said. "But I have wine, beer, vodka and rum."

He didn't hesitate. "I like lots of those things."

He was a two minute walk from my building, but I was at least five minutes away from looking presentable. I already had on a new summer dress but need a splash of makeup and to make sure I had enough food. (I'm in desperate need of a grocery store run, which I still haven't done.)

We had a great dinner and talked about work and career. We talked about his milestone birthday in two weeks and the scuba trip he's taking to celebrate and about my vacation. We talked about his son and technology and a new political website he's starting.

But all he really needed was a friend. So I listened.

He realized recently his feelings were growing stronger for the girl he was seeing. He told me she met at least 99% of his criteria. A few he named were things like how she likes foreign films, has her own apartment and a good job, and she doesn't need anyone to take care of her. So he had that talk. The one where a couple shares where they see the relationship going. She wasn't ready for anything more serious because she had only been out of a long-term relationship for five months.

I agree, five months isn't long. I encouraged him to keep in touch with her and try again later this year if he really liked her. "It's worth the wait if she makes you happy," I said.

Then he told me the rest. Her boyfriend was abusive. She told my friend she still sees her ex from time to time to wrap up some financial business. And he saw her arm in arm with him last weekend.

I let him finish and then left a moment of silence.

"Don't walk. Run away from her," I told him. "You'll never be the man she's looking for."

My friend is too nice. He likes to help people. He's a super hero. But this woman doesn't need him to be her hero. She needs to save herself first. No one else can save this single girl but her.

My friend can be a hero if he wants but only for those who love it but don't need it.

Love to the single girls,
Addison

P.S. Then we walked down to the pub. It was fun and I stayed out too late as I often do.