I still cry sometimes

Like last night. I'm not sure why. Maybe there's a little loneliness. A tad of self pity. Or maybe it's just the emotional scene in the TV show that left me feeling weepy.

So why would two nights in, alone with my thoughts, leave me sad? I know I don't miss my ex, but I do sometimes mourn the years lost while with him. The years I would have saved if I had baled when I should have.

I also know I'm afraid to open up to really caring about a man again. I still can't let myself feel close. I've been disappointed way too many times. Maybe it's dread of seeing the last man that disappointed me in Manhattan in a couple of weeks.

It makes me sad - no, it makes me angry - that I'm afraid. I'm the girl who's not afraid of anything. But I do tend to cry when I get mad - especially when I get mad at myself. Maybe that was it.

I have no reason to be lonely or sad. Some of the most caring friends a girl could ever ask for are in my life. I have male company just about any time I want it, and the rest of my life is fulfilling. I'm certainly not bored, and I shouldn't be afraid of anything. My life is fabulous, but I'm sure I'll cry again - like we all do.

Love to the single girls,
Addison