Alone is easier than back flips

I just came in from jogging in the park next door on this pretty spring-like day (okay, I did when I first started writing this). Close to the end of my run, I saw a man with his little dog. He had the pup doing back flips. It was cute. actually it was pretty amazing. But it reminded me of what men expect from women in a relationship.

Guys expect girls to have a complete bag of tricks - a successful career or job, a good cook, keep a nice home, stay in shape, and be attentive and interested in him on demand. Oh, looking hot and being happy and upbeat are must haves for most guys too. That's great. I want all of that for myself as well, but some of the boys don't have those standards for themselves. Some think they can sit around and build their beer gut while watching football while you cook and look fabulous - and bring him more beer. We might as well do back flips just like the pup.

In the last day, I had three interesting conversations with men on this topic. Last night I went to my friend's delayed wedding reception. Alone. There were people there I knew so there was always someone to talk to. I was outside by their beautiful pool enjoying the cool night and sat by the fireplace to warm up. Then an man probably my dad's age or older sat next to me. He was talkative. Charming. And he introduced himself as the groom's dad. He also touched me while he talked - his hand on my arm or shoulder.

Right in the middle of telling me about how beautiful Costa Rica is, he said, "You seem distant. Like something is distracting you."

"Just enjoying the beautiful pool view," I said. Really I wanted to go back to talking to my friends but was enjoying the warmth of the fire too much. Then it hit me. In the few minutes I had known him he was already judging me as not being attentive enough. Not looking into his eyes while he talked. I was relieved when the toasts interrupted the conversation. The house is large but not quite big enough. He kept showing up wherever I was.

So i left to meet friends at a bar. While my good friend and I were talking a guy walked up and started chatting. He just opened up about the perfect woman he was searching for. 

"I just want to find a woman I'll be really be happy to wake up next to," he said. He told us he was in his mid twenties and had only had one serious girlfriend.

It seemed that he wants lots of tricks from his perfect women. I think he was hitting on my friend, but talking about his ultimate woman was one of the most bizarre pick up lines I've heard.

Tonight my guy came over for the evening. We had the amazing sex we always have, but I liked the great conversation almost as much. I was glad he felt comfortable asking me about the long scar down my abdomen and why I didn't have children with my ex. Then we laughed, and we and talked about the places we'd enjoy traveling to. He talked about how common it is for women in Europe to spend a day cooking.

"American women just don't do that," he said. "I out cook and out clean most of the girls I know."

"That's good," I said. "Relationships should be a partnership." He may want the back flips, but at least he can do them too. At least he says he can.

Love to the single girls,
Addison