When one door opens, another closes

On the day my divorce was final, a door opened, but not in the way you might think.

As a part of the divorce-day celebration, I was a little naughty and had an overnight guest. I must've had unrealistic expectations because it was probably the lamest sexual experience I've ever had. He complained about everything: having to bend down to the floor to turn on a lamp, the balcony being too small, his eyes itching because of his allergy to my cat. He even warned me that having a cat would scare many men away. He was concerned I had a lingering relationship with a lover. But here's the worst part. Since he had stitches in his finger, I had to do most of the work. He received and I gave. He wouldn't even get on top. Not even for a minute.

"My finger hurts," he said.

"Bye," I said.

But this man opened a door. Unfortunately, it was the door to my bathroom. While I was peeing. Now I believe a girl needs privacy for certain things, so this was the first time in my life a man had watched me in that private moment. Ever.

But while this door opened on the first day of my new life, I believe another one closed. It was the long-time relationship with my dear friend and lover. 

This was the man who knows me better than almost anyone. He reminded me of who I am. We traveled together, shared our life fears and dreams. He gave me the confidence to change my appearance -the way I dress and my hair. He helped me learn how to appreciate life more. I stopped wearing a watch when I realized I didn't need to know the time at every moment. I starting slowing down to appreciate whatever I'm doing. He told me I'm a good lover cancelling out the years of hearing my ex-husband telling me I'm boring, too small town and prudish.

He (along with a few other amazing friends) helped me collect the confidence I desperately needed to leave a bad situation.

Although he'll probably never tell me this, I truly believe he felt his work was complete on the day my divorce was final. Although I've seen him once since, things aren't near where they were before. I suspect he believes distancing himself is best for me so I can move on. Even though that door is now closed, I need closure to help me let go.

We all need to let other doors open, except for those to our bathrooms.

Love to the single girls,
Addison