The night I kissed three guys

Did that really happen? Yes it did. Last night. I was there. Actually, I let three guys kiss me, and I think that was a first.

It started out just to be a low-key sushi dinner with my amazing friend who's moving to the next state this weekend and her friend. I had met him just once but felt like I had known him much longer. He's the ex of her ex best friend and they had all shared an apartment a couple of years ago. They're almost like brother and sister.

We met at the pub first where we met his childhood buddy who joined us for dinner. I had a glass of wine. Then we had a shot, and it started not being such a low key night. We talk and laughed and toasted the good memories and willed away the bad ones with the tall Adios Motherfucker blue but lethal farewell drink my friend's been having on her last few days here. Then we crossed the street and sat on the patio on a cool August evening and continued the fun over sushi.

My amazing friend who's moving sat on one side and her friend sat on the other. I adored sitting between them and enjoyed getting to know him a bit better. He's super nice, interesting, in great shape and not bad to look at. We traded a few looks. You know, those when you realize there's chemistry. Then somewhere between my miso soup and salmon roll, his childhood buddy looked at me from across the table and smiled.

"You're hot," he said.

I almost choked on the edamame I had just put in my mouth. "Thank you." I think it was the beer and the shot talking. But he said it again later, too.

After dinner, we walked over to my friend's house to walk her cute little pup. While we walked, the nice guy I sat next to at dinner and I walked together. The drinks had made us both more affectionate than usual, so we traded a few casual touches. It was nice.

But back at my friend's place, the childhood buddy was all over me. He backed me against the wall and kissed me until I ducked under his arm to escape. It was a little much. It was definitely the beer and the shot talking, and perfect timing for the four of us to walk back to the pub.

My friend's friend and I hung behind. He rescued me from his buddy's groping hands. We flirted then he grabbed my hand, led me around the corner and planted the hottest kiss. It was one of those I didn't want to end. We snuck behind his friend and traded numbers, then he had to get his buddy home.  

My amazing friend and I walked down to the next bar to meet her boyfriend and his friend who had come down for the weekend to help her move. His friend was a cool guy. Nice looking. Then my friend's boyfriend bought a round of tequila shots - the only shot I can rarely turn down. 

The guy who had just left continued our flirting by text. The two guys at the table coached  me on how to respond to his texts. Throughout the rest of the evening, I could tell the friend was attracted to me. He walked me home and kissed me goodnight. It was nice too.

Would all of this kissing have happened without the two shots? Probably just the middle one, and I hope that kiss happens again.

I curled up in bed and slept like a baby. Alone.

Love to the single girls,

Addison

Just a normal family

One of my neighbor friends has house guests this week. Her mom and younger brother are visiting. I met them the night I went to hear my friend perform at the restaurant down the street. Then, the next day, we all hung out by the pool. Actually we were in the pool most of the time. It was too damn hot to not be underwater.

During that lazy Sunday afternoon at the pool, my friend's brother invited me to join them for dinner. He was very persuasive, so I said yes. At the time I didn't realize it was the official meeting-of-the-family for my friend's boyfriend. They seemed natural - like they'd known each other for a while.

While we enjoyed a nice Italian dinner, I had a unique cultural experience. The family - mom, daughter and son - have a deep love for each other. They vocalized it often. It was kind of sweet. And baby bro is more than extremely protective over his sister. If it was up to him, she wouldn't have to move or think or probably even be. It's probably one reason why she lives 500 miles away from her family. She has a good job, money and independence.

Their mom lost her husband and the siblings their dad two years ago. The wound is still fresh. And they vocalized it often. The raw pain of losing a loved one too early was evident. Mom giggled though. The siblings would express their undying love for each other and Mom would just laugh. I said something once about her cute giggling and my friend dropped her smile and shook her head for me to stop. How could that possibly offend?

The three of them were very open and welcoming to me. They treated me with kindness and respect - and baby bro acted like he was interested in me. Then my friend picked up the check. We ended the evening with a nightcap at the pub across the street. They also invited me to take a road trip to the next state for a gambling outing in a couple of days.

But there was something very wrong with the family. Alcohol, pills, dragging people out of bed after an afternoon of drinking at the pool, falling down outside of the pub and lost keys are the cloud over the loving family. It worries me. And it's why I would never get into a car with them.

When I saw them two nights later, my friend and her boyfriend separately apologized for the evening's events. I'll confess, it was a bit shocking, but it was okay. It's just he way they are - and it's not my place to try to change anything. But then baby brother scolded me for not going out for drinks after dinner.

"I did," I answered. "Don't you remember?"

"Yes," he answered. "I mean drinks after that."

"Sorry, it was late," I answered.  It was a school night. Then I grabbed the blue lighter with the rainbow from him. He swiped it from my friend a couple of nights before. There are certain things a single girls need and others they can live without.

Love to the single girls,
Addison

Junior high school bra tricks

On my jog this morning, I kept thinking about the craziest conversation we had at the pub last night. I ran until I got tired of getting wet from the rain, but was amused the entire time.

A group of us sat around a table on the patio and talked about the one-second bra unhook trick. You remember, how the guys in junior high school used to try to unhook girls' bras? The difference now is that adults actually can talk about it while twelve-year-olds would just do it. Talking about it would have been way too embarrassing. Oh, and adults usually proceed to remove the bra rather than just unhooking it and giggling.

One guy at our table said, "I haven't unhooked a woman's bra in ten years."

"Why?" I asked.

"By now, we take off our own clothes."

I suggested he do it more often. "It's a turn on and kind of romantic if you do it right," I said.

Then we - this group of men and women in their 20s, 30s and 40s - practiced the technique. And it's harder than it seems. I tried it on myself three or four times before I got it. Then the guy who hadn't unhooked a bra in ten years tried. It took him several tries - doing it with his left hand slowed him down, he said. He got one hook first then he got them both. Then he was hooked. He repeated it another or seven or eight times - sometimes with success and sometimes without.

Across the table another guy practiced on my friend. He was young and I'm not sure he'd done at all before. People around us and walking by must have thought we were crazy. If you've read this blog recently though, I don't really care what people think.

Honestly I'm not sure how the whole bra unhooking conversation came up, but it was fun. Maybe next time I'll bring up the best methods for undoing belts and unzipping/unbuttoning jeans. Taking your own and each other's clothes off falls into the romance category. We get so caught up in our own habits and in a hurry that we forget romance. We just have to make sure that doesn't happen.

Love to the single girls,
Addison

Leaving a little something behind

Last night I did something I've never done before. I forgot something at a guy's house.

Lots of girls - and guys too - start leaving things behind. Some forget a little something so they have to see the other person again soon. They leave important things like glasses or phones. Others start the gradual move-in process with a toothbrush, comb or favorite t-shirt or maybe a phone charger or book.

I've never done either until last night. I left my bra. It truly was an accident. I was tired and super chilled and just walked out without it. He recently moved from a couple of miles down to road to about four towns and twenty miles away, so I can't just stop by to pick it up. And I was halfway home before I remembered it - too far, too late and too sleepy to go back.

I know he'll take care of it. It's not my favorite piece of lingerie, but it's my newest bra and strapless - one that gets worn a lot on these summer days. He loaned me a hoodie one chilly night and I returned it a week or so later when I saw him next all clean and folded.

But now I wonder how a guy will return a bra to a girl. He can't just stick it in his pocket and hand it over the table at the pub. I hope not, at least. Next time, I'll leave nothing.

Love to the single girls,
Addison

Violence is a deal breaker

The other night, I met a group at a restaurant down the street to hear a friend perform. He's a talented guitarist and for about the six months or so had played with a female singer who sang everything from Adele to Zeppelin. They were good - both talented on their own and very entertaining together.

They were. Now they've broken up. It appears the partnership ended because she got back with her ex. According to my guitarist friend, she's pregnant with her second child, her ex hit her again and they went away for the weekend recently and got married.

Everything about this scenario is wrong.

She told me a few months ago how shy she is - except when she's on stage. Singing brings her out of her shell and let's her shine. Now that shine is gone because of an abusive ex boyfriend; now husband. It breaks my heart.

Although my situation wasn't one of the world's worst, it was bad. Sometime explosive. I had to get out, and I did. Going back is and never will be an option. Ever. Life as a single girl is so amazing compared with the alternative. Money may get tight, loneliness is possible and it may seem a little scary. But the physical and emotional abuse is gone. No matter what single life throws at you, nothing beats making your own decisions, being free and living away from someone else's control and anger.

No one should ever have to live in fear.

Love to the single girls,
Addison