Celibacy

I've been celibate for eight weeks now. Let me say that again. I've gone without sex for eight weeks.

My long-time lover is my last partner, and this is the longest stretch since the day my divorce was final last June - a 14.5 week stretch. It's been intentional, and I like the way it feels. I'm single, not dating anyone in particular and am in great health according to my doctor. That means I passed all of those tests single girls (and guys too) should take. I want to keep it that way.

Don't get me wrong, I adore sex and I enjoy going out with guys. Recently, it's been most rewarding  to work on platonic friendships with guys. Maybe these relationships will last longer. Besides, saying no to sex is empowering. It's great practice for any age or dating experience level. For anyone.

Again, I'm single, and I'm not dating anyone in particular.

But I have friends who are dating exclusively. One in particular comes to mind. She asked me what's been going on lately - with the last guy I was seeing and with my lover she met a couple of months ago. Then I told her about my celibacy. That's when she pulled her phone out and showed me her app where she keeps track of her periods. Every pink dot represents sex. There were none in April , none in March and only three in February - one of those on Valentine's Day. They will have their one year anniversary as a couple in May.

Something isn't right. They should still be all over each other - daily may be enough. She says she doesn't know how to initiate sex, but why would she need to after more than two months? She says it's a prescription drug he had been taking, but he's been off of it for a year. She says she's too fat, but if he loves her like he says he does, it shouldn't matter. I know what I would do - work on getting into shape and then dump his ass. Fast. What would you do?

Then I snap back to reality when I look across the table while I sit here typing this blog. My friend is bouncing up and down in her chair.

"What are you doing," I ask.

She laughs and keeps bouncing. "Practicing for sex,"  she says. "Try it 50 times - weight on your heels."

I did, and it's pretty aerobic. I guess during my celibacy, bouncing in my chair might keep me in shape. I never know when I might be ready.

Love to the single girls,
Addison